Ok yesterday morning due to the fact of where my beloved and I live it took me 3 hours to post the enclosed photos and words I had written ...hmm words I had written ...I realized tonight I did not really write what I had wanted to . So here I am at 1:11 am correcting this piece to explain why I am Happy.
From April of 2006 to April of 2009 I shared a great battle with my second husband who I loved so very much . He was such a wonderful kind and loving man who drew the evil straw of having to do battle with Cancer. His first diagnosis was he had 6 weeks, but me not being the one to except such random silliness from doctors who think they are God we got a referral to Duke Hospital a training hospital which stays on top of everything as far as I could see. They had a positive outlook and with that a prognosis of we can beat this and they did at first, amazingly. They managed to get the first tumor gone...impossible by Outer Banks doctors standards at the time. But it came back in December 2008 and by April of 2009 John walked home to God as he said he would .
This left me in a place I had been not unfamiliar with losing people to death and the beast , but this was different , this was a man I loved and wanted to share the rest of my life with and now I had nothing but ashes in a box to spread at our favorite place in the mountains which I did with the assistance of my girls on what would have been our 7th wedding anniversary.
But what now ?
I struggled with grief I had never known and it almost ate me alive. Finances were non-existent , my youngest daughter had moved back in to help me with her step-dad his last months , the job I thought I would have was swiftly and painfully taken away .
So I/we floundered in the sea of crap that cancer pain and loss leave behind and moved numerous times tried to get wonderful projects off the ground only to fail because of weaknesses I could not battle alone.
ALONE!!!
Such a mean , nasty word , ALL ONE! but I was only one , not all at all pieces , important pieces were missing , someone to hold my hand and to love me and scratch my itch when needed .
The money issues were nothing new had dealt with those over and over again in my life when raising my children in my first marriage and when that marriage ended.
I have so many friends who became widows shortly before and after me , some financially good but like me were lost to the pain of losing the man they loved. we all react different but the same ...wandering ...not wondering ...wandering lost in a place unfamiliar to most unless it has happened to you . It does not end in a day, a week , a month or even a year.
So as I finally came to the acceptance in 2014 that I was to be all alone , not a couple to walk a path of life with ....That was when God and the Universe surprised me with Their plan.
I did not know that a chance encounter from the year before was a beginning of a journey that would bring me to such an amazing place in my life.
There is a church bulletin that says "if you want to hear God Laugh , just tell Him your plans" it is very true.
That chance encounter when I was driving the tram tour at Alligator River Wildlife Refuge with the "Plant Guy" was the beginning of an adventure I never expected. November 2015 we shared comments over tree bark pictures he shared on FB. I have always taken pictures of trees and bark and plants all my life and here was someone like minded sharing his offerings of trees and bark and plants.
We started talking by messenger and well one thing lead to another that we connected in person, him driving 283 miles from North Carolina close to where I had been living before on the Outer Banks but two hours inland in the rural farmland. (November 2015)
December rolled in fast and I came to stay for Christmas break from my job for two weeks at Spivey Road, 6 acres of peace and quiet and space....lots of space . A far cry from a roll away bed at my mother's home where I had grown up. and was staying trying to help her . The first thing Bob, did was take me upstairs to a beautiful room , deep pink with white trim and tables set up and told me I could use this space as a studio. A far cry from my tiny dungeon in the basement at my Mom's.
It is light and airy 4 large windows, south facing looking over trees and farmland and watching birds.
Oh my!!!
It quickly occurred to both Bob and I that the Universe had plans for us, OUR LOVE ! We were and our connected in such ways I had never experienced. We both loved taking walks in the refuges around , so much more fun together , holding hands , seeing natures wonders through each others eyes and hearts. Taking Photographs to share with others , and in turn sharing our love of Nature and each other. Wow , I had given in to being all ALONE...and the Universe let out a giant Guffaw of laughter .
I moved to Spivey Road in May 2016 as we waited for other things to smooth out , began our life in earnest together as I went with Bob to Wetland Conservation conferences he teaches out of state. Our life together is full of joy, happiness and December 21 Winter Solstice we were married in a small ceremony surrounded by family and loving friends . We have never been happier whether it is walks in the rain and sleet on trails at Merchant's Millpond State Park or just sitting holding each other's hands watching TV , or sharing pictures we took around our yard of the flowers , birds and the bees. giggle!!!
So the purpose of this blog entry is no matter how bad things seem and how alone you feel you are ..when you give God and the Universe a chance , you will not be disappointed you will find what you were NOT seeking . You will find LOVE and Happiness and Peace.
I pray Bob and I are allowed to have a very long and happy life together , I wish I had found him sooner so I could love him longer, but we will take what we get and make every moment special and full of love and happiness we have never experienced with anyone else.
All because God and the Universe waited...and then Laughed out loud
I am so blessed to have a dedicated beautiful studio space I go to ?work? in every day Because the Man I love , my Bob appreciates and understands the Who I Am. Bob allows me to see and feel life in a exciting way that makes me want to create my art and I have the time to work and experiment and make ART! Because he loves me.. and wants to see his Person happy and his Person is very happy. So follow along....the best is yet to be...write a new chapter in your life or wait patiently for the laughter of the universe . Because it is waiting for you to tell them your plans....
I have found a new style that links everything I love in too my art , from trees and nature, to my love of houses . I am working on a series of art quilt pieces that center on my love of trees and nature, that are modern but folksy at the same time .
I am also every day working on Fabric Postcards that are house themed and landscapes, seascapes and simple fun. My postcards are fun because they are small paintings created with fabric 4 x 6 inches and 5 x 7 inches layers of fabric stitched ....then once the recipient receives it can put it in a frame of their choosing.
Have a favorite photo of a home or a place you visited , I can take that picture and create it in fabric art for you that will let you enjoy that memory every day .
So check out what I have to offer and I am sure you will see something you like and would like for your home or gifts for friends.
Email me today at Fairygodmother58@gmail.com with your questions and requests...
